Thursday, December 3, 2009

another funny


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it

The following are my answers to why men are never depressed. lol

1. our last name stays put so we assume the lions share of the risks
2. yes the garage is ours but that is because we are banished there from the rest of the house
3. Wedding plans may take care of themselves but we have to listen to all the complaints and somehow satisfy them
4. chocolate may just be another snack to us but who do you think buys the most chocolates.
5. yes we can be president but what kind of a thankless job is that?
6. we can not get pregnant but we have to suffer with raging hormones of those who do.
7. we can wear a white t-shirt to the water park but we suffer from eye strain watching the women who wear them.
8. if we are not wearing a t-shirt it is because we can't afford them after buying an expensive swim suit for our female date.
9. car mechanics only pretend to tell us the truth and we in turn pretend to understand
10. Who do you think is driving the car from gas station to gas station to keep their date happy
11. we don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut we just twist it off and create more work.
12. not the same work. Men have to put up with PMS once a month and that qualifies as hazardous duty pay.
13. wrinkles add character is just an excuse because we are still paying for the face lift we bought for our wife.
14. who do you think pays for that 5000 dollar dress we are lucky to have 100 dollars left to rent that tux.
15. that's not a stare at your chest, our eyes are averted in submission to your demands. Did you not also hear the sigh of defeat.
16. we have to keep the phone line clear so the woman of the house can use it.
17. Tanks? That’s something that always reads “E” whenever she lets you use the car. Note: Be thankful if there is not a warning light on in addition to the “E”
18. Yes and the one suit case we have is half filled by the woman's overflow from the five she packed which by the way, we have to load and unload.
19. we open our own jars and all the jars we are handed, hence double the work
20. God forbid if we should forget a special occasion so we try our best to keep the list of thoughtful occasions short.
21. A three pack of underwear and three pairs are all we can afford. If you share a closet that is all the room there is for shoes anyway.
22. no strap problems but quite often we have other “fit” problems in a lower region requiring frequent readjustments.
23. We think wrinkles are the latest style.
24. It’s a good thing our face stays the same color because we do not have war paint to cover it up.
25. Getting hair styled is just an excuse to see hairdresser and keep up on gossip.
26. One wallet is all we need. It doesn’t require anything fancy to carry something that our wife or girlfriend has emptied anyway.
27. 25 minutes on December 24th is all the time we are allowed to have for shopping. The wife has the car the rest of the time using it for their favorite pass time “shopping”. Besides it’s called wise time management.

1 comment:

Z(Aasiyah/Nolwynn) said...

Thanks for the good laugh, very very true, as my husband would say!